Tonight i went to a major league baseball game. During a break in the game, the camera displayed a couple holding up a sign reading "Just Married" on the big screen. The entire stadium began to applaud for them. I was sitting with two of my friends, who were both clapping, and i just started yelling, "No!! NO!!! NOO!!!" I think what hurt more than anything else was that the couple made that sign after they already got everyone to applaude their blessed union at the wedding, and they made it with the hopes that the camera operator would see them in their love and happiness and project it onto the stadium wall, knowing that the crowd would go crazy at the sight of two blossoming soul mates. Everything was played out so well, because it was all guaranteed. OF COURSE you'll get on the big screen if you have a sign that says Just Married, and OF COURSE the whole stadium will applaud you! After all, you've just achieved one of the greatest feats of normality that you'll ever encounter! All you need next are a few newborn babies! Make sure to hold them up for everyone to see! The blessed healthy way of life continues, everyone is married, and everyone has a proper family, and everyone is respectable and loves going to the game. The Mets won tonight because two people just got married.